The silent wanderer

Beneath those bushes, he feels the presence,
there must be something, that makes him question.
He feels as if, he's on a chase,
but a second thought makes, the life so lame.
a week long plan, for a day to spend,
and when it comes this time, he drains it in vain.
regrets not what has gone offhand,
he plans again, knewing what he could gain!
the pile goes high, and the frustration begins,
the clock says now, or be it ever?
isn't this enough for him to suffer,
..behind those bushes, the calmness prevails.
an hour long spent for this non sense,
he counts it in, as resting his brain.
that's how the life goes on my friend,
you live in chaos, but organise it well.

Takbeeeer !

Alhamdulillah, what a beautiful start to the blessed month of ramadan. indeed for me, but i am talking about the 18 year old white american who took shahada after the friday prayers, a day before the start of ramadan, with me and hundred more people witnessing it. Imagine that all your sins are forgiven and whatever you earn from now onwards will be multiplied 70 times for a month. can anyone dream of a better deal than this! but this doesnt come for free. May Allah keep him intact on the path he has chosen. he has a very tough life ahead, being a freshmen who just entered the college, living in dorms with all kind of distraction and being independent in his thoughts and decisions, having passed the 18 yr barrier. living in such a society and keeping oneself steadfast is the true Jihad a person can go for.

On a personal note, i too was really excited to welcome the blessed month this year. being involved with the masjid, knowing more people, gaining more respect is Alhamdulillah helping me in improving myself as a muslim. i am utilizing my time in a more efficient ways now. if you give a chance to the devil to overcome your mind, then you got to dance on his tunes, and if you walk towards Allah SWT, then Allah SWT will run towards you with his mercy. the decision is upto the wise men, what he choses.

Another american who took shahada couple years back has also moved to our community. he is exactly of my age. he was given a chance to share his journey towards islam, and after listening to that i felt that he had lived double the life than me, or may be much more. just for instance, he travelled to france, south africa, senegal and reached even till kashmir in his quest to learn about the true religion. he spent time with jewish community, he participated in the meditation activities by hindus to understand their religion, but Alhamdulillah got to a conclusion that only Islam makes sense and can be the only religion for a man. he says being a muslim he is more clean, systematic in his activities and overall a good person now.

Being born as a muslim is the greatest thing that happens to us. we understand its importance only when we see struggles from others. its not at all easy to go against your parents, your society, leaving the 'heaven' like atmosphere created around you, and then believing in the unseen. Indeed there can't be more justice then this, when Allah SWT promises to forgive all their sins they perform before entering the path to true 'heaven'.

`Subhan-Allahi wa bihamdihi, Subhan-Allahil-Azeem [Glory be to Allah and His is the praise, (and) Allah, the Greatest is free from imperfection]'

The Price of the Priceless

Aaahh…How tasty it was! No no, it’s not the shahi tikka or gile firdous. I am talking about the ‘gobi 65’ (cabbage) I cooked 2 days back. I remember those days when I use to get up in the morning and after brushing my teeth, expect the breakfast to be in front of me. And then next, if the dish served was not one of the very few I liked (cabbage wasn’t in the list) then the mood goes off, and I have to look for alternative to fill my stomach. Though I miss that food everyday now, how rude it was on my part to act in that manner those times. Just a simple daal or cabbage cury or omlet is what I enjoy these days. If I get to eat biryani (very rare), it’s same as a beggar getting a 500 rupee note.
Entities are just entities. We set the price of them in our life. One entity may be priceless to you at one moment in your life, while it may seem to be the most precious gift to you at some other point in your life. And it’s not uncommon that what you don’t possess is what precious to you and what you possess is trivial at times. Gobi, bhendi, phalli..these vegetables were on my ignore list when I had the opportunity to eat them to my fullest..that too cooked by my mom. Now, if someone cooks that for me (I don’t care who cooks them), I’ll be eating that like a hungry beggar.
Not just with food. It can be anything that you possessed before and not now or you possess now but use to dream of it before. I still remember the Adidas shoes my brother bought for me for Rs. 120 (yeah, it’s more than 15 years back). Our budget was to get something around Rs.80. but this shoe stuck my eyes and I really liked it. It was priceless (valuable) to me that time. My brother had to put an extra Rs.40 from his pocket to fulfill my desire. Similar incident goes with a Jeans that I got almost during the same time for Rs.400. it was simply awesome and my uncle had to put in the extra money this time. Those were the two lavish possessions I remember having during my childhood. Rest others were priceless to me and I couldn’t even thing of dreaming to have one. And yes, how can I forget the toys my brother use to buy for me from his own pocket from the exhibition.
Time flies and things change. Couple day’s back I ordered shoes for my nephew. It was for $80…around Rs.4000. I was looking at different designs and finalized one that was for $50. Then I saw this one that caught my attention and I liked nothing after seeing this. Without any second thought I just ordered it. Yesterday I bought a tennis racquet, though I don’t play tennis that much. But I wanted one so I bought.
I never got pocket money in my life. If I need I use to ask and get the exact amount. Now, I hold 3 credit cards and a debit card in my pocket. I remember the time when I was applying for the US universities. It was required to pay the application fee only through credit card and it was so hard to find someone who can allow me to give his card to charge on.
I have seen the misery in life. And I am grateful to Allah that he has shown me the misery and is now showing the other side and testing me whether I can see the misery of others or did I become blind to it now. Food, clothing and shelter is what a man need for his survival. Adding more and complicating his life is what makes him cling to life and love it more and fear death. Whatever I do, no matter how hard I try, I can never suffice what all my family did for me. I say I have seen the misery, but being youngest I have got much more than my siblings. So they have seen more misery than me. My parents are the biggest blessing for me. May Allah keep them safe and healthy and bless them Jannah in the hereafter.

Split Identity - The relation uncalled for..

My curious mind gives me another reason to portray a blunt/blatant image of myself. and yess i love to be like that. as i dont see anything wrong with my attitude. c'mon now dont say i have an Attitude problem ~! Split identity, as i called it, to make the things simple, will make majority of readers to disagree with me. did i mention that am eccentric as well ?
This all starts with two persons of opposite gender... the relation between them. no no not a couple. the other ones. ok lets call it a friendship? or may be call it a relation more than friendship! reading thousands of questions from people around the world on askimam.com about this relation, the one and only reply i have seen is, 'no its stictly prohibited, please refrain from any such actions/communications'. people try to defend themselves many times saying they are gonna get married soon in future or they can't live without each other and blah blah. but the answer to all distortions is always the SAME. Humans have developed a nature of defending themselves for the wrong they do. like a bad example goes from the guy of 'Catch me if you can' movie fame. i saw his interview in which he says 'i never felt i was doing anything bad. i wasn't robbing an old homeless guy. what if i cash a fraud check for 500 bucks from a bank that has earned millions in all right as well as wrong ways'.
Prophet SAW said, marriage becomes fard on a person as soon he stands on his own feet and is no more a dependent. and this is indeed a very very logical statement. i have experienced it myself the wisdom of it. till the age of 22, when i finished studies and wasnt earning by then, i can sware that i never contacted the other gender through any form of communication. people say what if sometimes the need arises..? ..i say, you always have other alternatives. and now, earning for almost 2 years and can say Alhamdulillah i am independent...my mind has deviated. and yeah i dont defend myself as i know i did wrong. all i say in my defense is , its a human tendency to get attracted, and i deviated for THE reason. so when someone shows eagerness and haste in getting married doesnt mean, he is a lunatic. :). and someone ABLE enough delaying marriage is questionable to me. few of my friends say 'kya jaldi hai yaro..karinge aaraam se..'. i conclude that he is either a lunatic or he is already in a relation uncalled for.

Some thoughts on split personality now. if a person has a very loveable, honest and respectable image of himself and, and is in a relation uncalled for, i blatantly conclude that he is playing a double game. no more explaination as the above discussion should prove my point....but yeah i know, we can always defend ourselves! a bad example on this way goes with a first hand experience with my roommate. to start with, i say he is a bad guy, and i dont have any respect for him. i show this to him with my behavior towards him. friends and others, say he is a very kind, helpful and nice person to talk to. he's always there when you need him. this is not how i judge a person. yes i agree the character of a man, is what a person should be judged on...but few other aspects comes first. how many times does he pray in a day? (0). does he atleast pray Jumuah ? (no). how many times he hugs a girl in a week ? (several). he even went to the extent of staying for 10 days in Europe on his way home to meet his g-FRIEND that left US a month back.....and the list goes on and on....oh but yes, he is a kind man who is always there to hug you when you need a shoulder to cry on ;).

Enough for now. "you got the feet and you got the way...now follow the light and search the path!".

The Burden of Martyrdom!

Well while preparing for something to speak on the companions of Prophet SAW, I across this hadeeth, that evolved some thoughts in my mind and as a result pouring it down here,

"The Prophet SAW once climbed the mountain of Uhud with Abu Bakr, Umar, and Uthman RA. The mountain shook with them. The Prophet SAW said (to the mountain), “Be firm, O Uhud! For on you there is a Prophet, a Siddiq, and two martyrs.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol. 5, Book 57, Number 24)"

The two martyrs here are Umar and Uthman RA. Prophet SAW knew that they are gonna taste the dead as martyrs, which was disclosed to them. also we know that they were among the 12 companions of Prophet SAW who got the glad tiding of paradise while they were still on earth. what else one would want...all set for hereafter, now live life to the fullest! but no. we know how hard they have struggled every breathe of their life fearing Allah and the punishment for the minor sins they have performed, if any, unknowingly.

ok, lets come to the real world now. real in the sense, that includes you n me n this world we live in. i heard that death, if it comes as an accident or if you die fighting for some legal cause, then the person is equally rewarded as a martyr. now based on this, lets say some pious person (not that tote ka faal!) tells me that am gonna die in an accident and gain martyrdom. i would have felt relaxed n excited n confused n proud of myself hearing it......but only for a second. after that moment of excitement, for my whole life until i die, i would have feared about the cause of my death. i wouldnt have left driving or flying, but would have been very much frightened and careful in doing so. yes, its because of the weakness of our emaan today and thats one of the thousands differences between us and the noble companions of Prophet SAW.

Moral of the story - Dont fear death, coz its the very first truth that borns with your existence. build up your emaan, always try to learn from good things...there isnt any ending to it. be humble n try to gain respect and kindness for your actions from the people around you and ultimately kindness and blessings from the Creator.

By the way, forgot to mention that am a driving freak..so there's a good chance that the death angel might pick my soul from somewhere down the road! Good luck!!! :)

A Chance...

I remember my childhood days playing cricket or the marbles with my 'galli'(street) friends. on getting 'out' we use to say 'one more chance! one more chance please!' or 'if i got another chance i would have won the match for my team'.
...I wonder why do we always need another chance. is one chance not enough..? is one opportunity not enough..? if we are not able to accomplish something in the given frame of time then how are we so sure that we'll do it if given another chance. yes and we ignorant people play this gamble with our own lives too. like for example i have seen few people that almost have seen the death angel coming in front of their eyes to pull away their souls but then going back saying you have been granted a CHANCE..., by chance!. than this makes the person really understand the motive of his life and the value of the chance he has been granted. a person meets with an accident or witnesses a horrible accident in which he or the other person narrowly escapes. this incident shakes his complete senses..and forces him to realize what would have happened if the person really was hit by the car...or what would be the case of his family, if it was he in place of the other guy. what would have been the next episode if it was he in place of that guy. is a kick like this really needed for each of us? why cant we understand the true meaning of this beautiful life granted to us first hand..? if this would have been the case then the world would have been a beautiful place to live, without the fearful thought of the very death that shakes us now.
The life is so valuable for oneself. struggle to spend it the right way so that we wont have any regrets later...later here refers to the infinite time come.
This reminds me of a famous story of a man who says to a barber seeing a dirty long haired man in front of his shop. "barbers do not exist. other wise people like this dirty long haired man wont have existed." listening to this the barber says.."barbers DO exist..but if the people are not interested in coming and seeing them, then thats how they end up dirty".
we are bound to remember the ONE so that everything goes smooth and fine with us.....and yeah, break the queue and rush....don't wait for a chance :)

Trip to India !!!

O yeah! I went to India finally after 2 years. hmm..its 3 weeks i came back but was so lazy to pen down the golden moments i spent. yes 3 weeks is a very short time for such an awaited vacation....but couldnt risk my job so had to return early. It was a whole family gathering, my bro being in India same time. and this time i wanted to hear something new from my family coz i had a stylish beard grown which was new to them. and yea, i got comments like " you are looking more mature" :P.... i always was! :P

I was expecting unbelievable change in hyd but didn't find any except the traffic condition getting more worse and few shopping malls and grocery stores everywhere. reaching in the wee hours of the morning. after waiting more then an hour for the missed luggage, the moment i came out of the new hyd airport, the smell of the breeze was a sweet gift to me. the cab driver was complaining about the severe cold, but i was feeling warmth in the air :). so the $10 ride to home started with the view of charminar on the way.i didn't call home as i didn't wanted to disturb my parents sleep. so just reached the door and rang the bell :D.
Two weeks just passed by so quick. I took whole family n other close relatives to a picnic. went to a village and spent a day in the farm. went to my college to look at the present youth and co-relate what i have been hearing. but i didn't find any thing new. or may be i dont have the eye to look for the things people speak that surprises me :). i wanted to visit each n every corner of hyd but couldnt do so bcoz of the time constraint. went to a shopping mall and finally saw something which surprized me but might be mundane for others. a girl with 2 guys, may be college students, wearing a sleeveless with a scarf on head. my sis told me that its called Hijaab (lol). then again to my surprise, same girl in complete burqa in the parking lot before leaving....great..!
nothing changed at my home, except the kids getting more natorious. had to spend 2500 dollars on toys to keep them happy. Oh! sorry, did i say dollar? nah, its Indian rupees! :D i did this mistake many times while recharging my cell or buying something from any shop :D well what didnt change is the customer service. same pathetic behavior of the storewalas. for example i went to a bakery near my home. i asked for yogurt once and waited..5mins...10mins...then a guy who was the bakery owners friend asked...did your yogurt came? i said no with a smile. then he shouted with his full capacity to help me get it right away. another funny incident...i went to the new stores called 'MORE'. took a twin pack of toothpaste, came home and when i opened it found the other piece missing! lol...i showed my sister and just laughed and told her not to tell my father :D.
well now m back to ground 0 again. same schedule, nothing exciting. i missed those mornings, those callings of the tarkari waala, the paan wala etc etc. i miss the 2 yr old going to masjid wearing a diaper! yes, that was one of the kid at my sisters house. he reminded me for one of the Asar prayer in her house. :)
Alhamdulillah m bak and everything is on the go again. i still have the job in hand which is the biggest thing now a days. i remember the dua that my grand ma gave me on my farewell, "Allah kare sarkari naukri lagjau bete tereku". LOL that would be the last thing for me.. to work for US sarkaar.