I am back~!

My previous post was about my experience with getting the visa done. I came back to US in January after staying 6 months with family. it was an awesome vacation. I dont know if I can get such a time again.

anyways, I came back to Boulder with job in hand Alhamdulillah. people at my workpace were happy to see me back. brought some expensive gifts for manager and the other bigger guys. sooner I started with the same work and started feeling bored again! I stayed with one friend whose company I enjoy the most. we share a lot of similarities, rather be it in attitude or thinking or religion. but he shows more dedication in things he do than me :|.

I had a job offer from Austin, TX before I left for India. I contacted the manager I use to speak with and she was still interested to hire me but not under her team, as that position was gone. they offered me a decent pay wihtout relocation and a position that wasnt much exciting. I accepted the offer and started my H1 transfer processing with them. meanwhile I told my current manager that I would be leaving in 2 weeks. he didnt like the news, and told me that he wants me in the team at any cost (yea I was a very crucial player, kind of Jack of all, for him). He offered me a package that nobody on earth would decline. i spoke to half a dozen people about both the offers I had and everyone favoured this one. but I declined it :| the only tihng I saw in the offer was money..huge money that makes you think thousand times. I did istekhara and just went with the decision I felt I should take. I moved to Austin around mid march. 

Alhamdulillah, I find everything I wanted at this place. a very good and engaging community, beautiful and small city, masjid at a 2min drive from your home. its my 4th week and real work hasnt started yet. its a big company and everything needs an approval from managerment. 

I hope to have a good time at work as well as some quality in my life. 

en route..

So it was a fine Thursday morning and I kept all the documents in order the night before. i forgot to take a photocopy of my resume and thought I can get it on my way. appointment time being 9:45AM and consulate at about 40mins of drive on bike, I planned to leave around 8:45. guess what...it starts to rain all of a sudden. now what! I dont have a car and not enough time to think of anything other than hiring an auto.

dressed formally with my cap on and shyly carrying the umbrella over my head, I walk to the main road. dont forget that its now only a week that i came to my home city and I am still in the 'cursing and complaining' mode. I curse the ditches on the way and walk carefully. I ask an auto driver if he is ready to drive to the consulate and he demands rs. 100. believe me, hiring an auto is the most toughest job on earth for me. i didnt bargain as that amount seemed reasonable but I couldn't understand the reason why he wouldn't put the meter on. he disagreed on putting the meter and i went my way to find another. fortunately after 2mins i got another auto that agreed on my conditions :) well i felt that i would definitely be late if something silly happens on the way. and hell yeah...it was bound to happen!

I asked the driver to stop near shadan college and searched for any printing store to get my resume printed. 9 o clock was too early for the shopkeepers. i thought i would just go without resume and when asked will pretend as if i misplaced it somewhere in my file.:P

going about 100 metres I find that the auto is slowing down. the drivers takes it over the side and completely halts and says the clutch wire has broken and he will have to put a new one. I asked him how much time will that take, so that i can hire someone else. he said just 2mins! oh yea, 2 mins and keep counting...

anyways, he fixed it under 10mins and we headed again. i have been to begumpet several times but didnt exactly know where this consulate is gonna be. doesnt mean i was so unplanned for the big day. i was well planned and everything would have happened in peace if i went on my bike. but things werent in my favor since the inception. we asked some guy and he headed us to the wrong way...after going about 1/2 km we made a U turn, came back to same spot, wasting 5 valuable minutes. then drove a little more and asked another guy. he knew it well and said its right across the road where we were. i asked the auto driver to stop right away and i can cross the road and go myself.

time to pay for the ride! no gain or no loss, as I had to pay him rs.100 :). it was 9:40 and the moment i reached the gate the guy was calling all who had there appointment at 9:45. i cannot take anything inside the gate except the documents file. i had to throw my bag, cap and cell phone inside it on the footpath underneath an umbrella beside the gate and rush in. i was lucky to find them safe when i returned.

all well that ends well. who knew that the passport i left behind in the consulate would come back to me after 6 months. nevertheless, i am happy for it now..!

Looking back..

Its still all the same. same place, same work, same people, same car, same casuals, same attitude. what changed is the calendar on my wall. yes, its about 6 months when i became so unrest and desperate to go on a vacation and meet my family. never thought i could be blessed with staying with them for 6 long months. celebrating the two joyous Eids with them and attending about a dozen marriages of my friends. the moments cannot come back but can only be thought of and cherished. it was a bonus for me. surely a blessing in disguise from the Almighty (Alhamdulillah).

Looking back now it feels as if i never went on a vacaton. the cycle of life and struggle to find something that is engulfed in the darkness of future has started again. it was so tough for me to leave my family again, the people whom i care and who cares me more than i do. i tried to be tough and did not cry. yes, the reason is known one.

I look back and think whether i did my best for my family in these 6 months ? may be yes and may be no. it falls short no matter how much you do. you are always indebted. i have regrets. but hey, you cant be perfect in life. this is how you learn and improve yourself as a being.

Alhamdulillah for everything..and looking forward to another of such trip in future! :)

time to get ready for work..

Reverse Negotiation does not work!

Success is not something thats always straight ahead. sometimes you got to take an exit and diviate from your routine path. i have been on the same route all these days and couldn't see anything exciting ahead on my way. so thought of taking an exit..being optimistic that it will lead me to success going forward. i find it very apt to compare my career as being driving on a highway. if you are on a single lane road(small company),then changing lanes(projects) is not an option. so you plan to slow down and take an exit from that road..planning behind your mind that you'll be catching another highway(company) soon that will be bigger and broader where you can cruise through. and, fully aware that there might be a stop signal right after you get off the road. well, the opinion of the general public to whom i have spoken thinks this to be a brave/stupid plan. the plan they suggest is to catch a flyover that connects your road to a different highway you want to be on. well thats the ideal case and next to impossible for me :P. so here i am, all set with my stupid cum brave plan.
But suprisingly i am bribed by something to stick onto the same highway! now i am in a position where i might not reach my destination any faster but will gain something being on the same way(ofcourse it has to be the greenbacks!). and as the title of the topic suggests, i tried to be stupid-er by doing a reverse negotiation..yeah! negotiating not for the benefit..i think i was being JUST and honest :P. and yeah i failed the negotiation part miserably..which proves to be fantastic for me!
Allz well that ends well..hopefully.

Making ones prayers...

If not every non Arabic speaking person, at least I find it difficult to concentrate fully during the prayers. there are several hadiths that describe as to how one can increase the khushu wa khudhu(humility, Submissiveness, tenderness in the heart) during prayers. but still people get diverted. i remember reading one of the scholar who said upon asking how he concentrates in prayers, he said, 'while praying i feel shaitaan(devil) is behind me, heaven on my right side, hell on my left and Allah SWT in front of me. this makes me to be steadfast.' Alhamdulillah(All praise to Allah). but as new generation muslims we still get diverted. if its the fajar prayer, after praying and coming back to bed we wonder whether we prayed in real or was it in a dream!(sorry to say but it happens with me sometime). if its zohar, in prayer you will be solving the incomplete algorithm that you left at your desk. if its maghrib, you are empty stomach and tired and feel pity for yourself. and for isha, you think you should have slept by this time, or you think that you wasted the day and will not do so tomorrow! All in all the prayers have become a break from the routine to think of what you did and what you will be doing.

I think I recently found a way to work on ones concentration during the prayers (I should have done this long before. will have to be regular atleast from now on to really make it effective). Personally i find it appealing. (yeah! to boost my confidence!). the secret is, sleep a little early in the night..get up an hour or 45mins before fajar time..this should not be tough at all if you sleep early(can be done practically on weekends). make wadhu(ablution) and pray 8 rakaats in denominations of 2. well not much exciting till now ? the other MOST important thing is to read those surahs (chapters) that you have memorized recently...the surahs that do not come automatically from your subconscious mind. this is very important. as soon as you tend to deviate your concentration, you realize that you are derailing in your recitation. you just HAVE to be in prayers to recite, otherwise it stops or goes wrong. also recite a little bit loud..as loud as it is audible to yourself. this technique also encourages one to memorize new surahs. surah yaseen is the best to start with. then surah rehman and others can follow.

well I share this to encourage myself first. and as everyone know, night prayers have atmost significance. so it a gain gain situation for us! and yeah dont forget to make dua(suplication) after your prayers.

May Allah accept from all of us. Ameen.

and that one mistake..

would have landed me in big trouble. but not,Alhamdulillah (Praise to God). the least has happened when there were the possibilities of worst to occur.three accidents in three consicutive days, that left me or my car untouched! so i call them stunts! rather than accidents :D. these were couple months back.
Being a driving freak, who doesnt bother to wear seat belt no matter a cop behind him, was on my trip to the rockies with two of my friends. we saw blue color in the GPS and were wanting to see a lake. all i could see was a straight patch of road in front of my with 30MPH speed limit. ignorng the sign boards I cruised to 60MPH and there comes a curvature! in those 3 seconds on the curvature, i practically understood the meaning of centrifugal force :D and all those physical laws that keep your car glued to the road. it felt as if i might fly off the road, and my left leg hesitantly applying the brake, in a dilemma that braking might roll the car in a more dramatic way. anyways i felt like whatever i did was a perfect combination and i was able to convert the accident to a 180 degree spin. the car stopped in the opposite lane in a single lane road, lucky with no vehicles coming in that direction. it was soo fun! :D
The next day we went to royal gorge, 2.5 hrs drive from my place, but this time in a rental Impala. on the way back home on a single lane highway at 70MPH, a big deer comes from nowhere and bang!! the momentum of her got herself off the road. i slowed down and again, luckily there was no car behind us. i was in no mood to stop as these kind of accidents happen often in places like these. my friend said, the deer might be stil alive and better we call the police. the deer was unconsious for some time and then started trembling. ok, we called the cop, waited 30mins, and he comes, takes out his revolver and shoots the deer! saying she is already in the dieing state and he is easing her pain! he had plans to use the deer meat to feed the circus lions. to my good luck, I took insurance with full coverage for the car. well, all this was soo exciting! :D
The third stunt was a brave one! and was after a few days. it was a snowy morning with -15C temperature. on my way to office, i thought of taking the straight freeway instead of the regular road with ups and downs. a stop on the uphill would keep my car spinning there for ever. so i took the ramp, raced my car to about 50MPH(65MPH is the limit), and there it goes....so smooth and sliding without any effort! the feeling is just awesome here. its like a man who jumps from a building and wants to stop in the air in between. :D. you just dont even have 1% control of the car. to add to this my car's front tires were torn to death. somehow i managed to get the car off the road rightways on the unpaved area which was filled with a foot high snow. that really hellped to halt the car to zero speed. yups..the car stops, no damage...and no injury to me. if i would have hit a car or the divider on that high speed, it would have been a really bad accident. well for the next hour and a half i am standing in biting cold, calling my so called friends for help and welcoming two cops. randomly a guy in ford truck sees me and stops for help. i would just say that, what he did was an act of noble virtue. he literally lied down in that knee high snow to stuck the chain hook under my car and pulled it back to the road. i could just thank him in most polite & friendly manner.
so is this what we call a chance? if it takes the sh** out of you then i guess. otherwise its fun, exciting and something to share...

The silent wanderer

Beneath those bushes, he feels the presence,
there must be something, that makes him question.
He feels as if, he's on a chase,
but a second thought makes, the life so lame.
a week long plan, for a day to spend,
and when it comes this time, he drains it in vain.
regrets not what has gone offhand,
he plans again, knewing what he could gain!
the pile goes high, and the frustration begins,
the clock says now, or be it ever?
isn't this enough for him to suffer,
..behind those bushes, the calmness prevails.
an hour long spent for this non sense,
he counts it in, as resting his brain.
that's how the life goes on my friend,
you live in chaos, but organise it well.